silently-screaming

so i havnt blogged in ahwile and thats cause iv been busy with school but i felt like if i dont blogg i might cry. my bestfriend in the whole world has a girlfriend and i dont know why it hurts me so much. iv been with him befor and iv broke up with him and i have a new boyfriend now. but hes liked me for like ever and seeing her with him makes me jelous in so many ways possible. i finally know how he felt when i went out with some one els. i feel the pain and jelousy and most of all i feel the sadness the most. i cant talk to him about it because ill feel stupid. and then i relized that some how im still in love with him and it shoked me. i can no longer breath or feel anything i feel numb and frozen. i dont know why i cant just talk to him and say im jelous i dont think i would now what to say but probly some day ill meet her and want to rip he intestents out or cut her throat so she cant breath and blood squirts evreywear so she dies in pain. of corse that will just be in my head. and omg shes a cheerleader o.O of course he would like her. Now i have met her online and she seemed nice to talk to and she was going out with him but i only felt a little jelousy because i knew i wouldnt last. but i pretty sure this one will. untile then i will be silently screaming in my boyfriends arms.